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The Cure for Self Doubt

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 20:50:00 GMT

So the downloads continue.., clarity is abounding... my purpose is the same but with greater intensity... for those interested, here is my latest email post. Yes, it's long, but filled with valuable nuggets!

The cure for self doubt

Today I want to share about a deep-seated problem for many dream-driven leaders, and unfortunately, many Christian teachings reinforce this problem… and that is the universal core anxiety with which most people struggle… self-doubt.

But first let me give you some context.

I believe our main purpose in life, the reason we are here, is to discover (remember?) and be the fullest expression of who we really are... let's call her our Truest Self.

And because our Truest Self is inextricably infused and one with God, she is perfect, powerful, limitless, and free. Living from that place, we have access at all times to Infinite Wisdom, Everlasting Love, and Magic and Miracles.

Unfettered, a life of abundance, that which Jesus came to give us, flows freely... and when it flows freely, all people around us benefit. It's a win for God, a win for you, and a win for all.

But there is something that can get in the way of us living this life, and even accessing the power and perfection within. You know it all too well.

So do I.

The limiting beliefs of our smaller, egoic self, and the negative, often painful, emotions they cause. (Please note: this post is not addressing the childhood (or adult) trauma we may have suffered from which we need healing. I will address that in another post.)

While there are many limiting beliefs and negative emotions, the one that is most prevalent, and the subject of today's post is SELF-DOUBT.
The interesting thing about self-doubt is that it begs the question... which self? If it is our Truest Self, well, there is no doubt in her. She is a place of certainty, knowing, and just is.

So, it must be our ego self that puts this out there, and even though it is not as real as our truest self, it must be attended to. I hope you are still with me! ��

In this post, I will be sharing what self-doubt is, how it affects us, and what the cure is. (Yeah, bold promise, I know, but I wouldn't make such if I had not experienced this personally and in my clients!)

Now, just so we are on the same page, doubt of any kind is the existence of two or more thoughts about the same thing… in this case… your value and worth.

Doubt is double mindedness.

This double-mindedness produces an internal conflict which is why you may feel restless, unsettled, and stressed. In the bible doubt is likened to a ship adrift at sea, being tossed to and fro.

So, on one hand, there is something in you that knows, really knows, that you are a person of innate worth and value, without regard to how well you perform. You know that all of God’s creation is magnificent, intricate, and perfect, and of all creation, you are His crowning achievement.

At some level, you know you are perfect, powerful, limitless, and free! (And if you don’t that may be part of the problem!?)

On the other hand, disempowering limiting beliefs have gathered within, and even cemented over many years. Limiting beliefs have a voice, and usually it is a scornful, mocking one that says, "Really? You think you're all that?"

Then the voice will remind you of all the times you failed, had expectations that didn’t get fulfilled, and disappointed yourself and others. And while these are thoughts in your head, you feel the pain in your heart.

I can’t tell you how many times successful leaders, with tons of accomplishments and years of dedicated personal growth, have confided in me, with tearful shame… "I feel like a loser… " and then set out to justify why they think so. Their brains can come up with a solid case as to why they think that is true, but on the other hand, they really do know better.

But knowing better just creates more havoc within. Added to the self-doubt is guilt and shame over knowing better. Do you feel me?

Now, even though doubt is double-mindedness, the cure is not in our minds. Changing our minds, creating new neural pathways, etc, can be done, but it often takes quite a long time.

The cure is also not in repeating affirmations and mantras all day long. It’s not in daily meditations. It’s not in … just believe in yourself! Look at all you’ve accomplished?

No, my friend, your mindset is not the cure. As a "mindset expert," my experience has shown me, mindset is not enough.

Yes, you heard me say that. Mindset is not enough to cure self-doubt.

So, what is? Can we really cure this pervasive and debilitating problem?

Yes. Yes. Yes! And faster and easier than you think!

You see, self-doubt is an emotional issue, not a mindset one. Yes, your thoughts and beliefs produce chemical reactions that show up as feelings and emotions… so then, just change your thoughts…. Right? Wrong.

It’s not your thoughts that are holding you back, it’s your negative emotions. It’s the energy emitted from negative emotions that are more powerful than your thoughts.

Emotions trump thoughts!

The good news is… once you go through a guided, genuine letting go process, your thoughts will automatically shift! You won’t be plagued with the "loser," victim, or scarcity mentality anymore! You will be free to let your Truest Self emerge so she can go on to achieve her purpose and live the life she is here to live.

Well, how do you do that?!

Step 1: Awareness.

Most of us want to avoid negative emotions. They don’t feel good. And in the great move of PMA, Positive Mental Attitude, we were taught to stay positive. So to deal with the negative emotions, like self-doubt, discouragement, frustration, and futility, we distract ourselves, we sweep them under the rug, we engage in relentless busy work, we shame ourselves for having them, or we cover them up with pretty Pollyanna Platitudes.

In the process of avoiding, we become disconnected from our feelings. You might not even be aware of what you are feeling. That is why the first step is awareness. You may need some help identifying your feelings, but trust me, when you learn how, without condemnation, it will become very easy.

Step 2: Welcome your negative emotions.

Being aware is one thing, welcoming them is another. Again, this can be a difficult thing for people as they are used to batting negativity away. Welcoming them seems counter-productive. For others, they are well aware, and wallowing in the negative is where they stay. Wallowing in not the same as welcoming. If we work together, we can help you discern the difference, as it is an essential one.

Step 3: Choose to let the negative emotions go.

This is actually the hardest of the 3 steps, and often requires some deep support. Letting go has been a popular subject of many books and programs. I even did a skydiving retreat to create a tangible experience of letting go.

However, I have found that letting go often faces hard core resistance. One client said, "I’m not sure I can." Through the process, she became aware that she was heavily invested in being the victim of her thoughts and feelings.

Another said, "I’m a bit nervous about what life will look like without them." This woman was a very evolved searcher of the truth. It was surprising to her to see this fear emerge. Fortunately for her, she was committed to the work, being set free, and peeling away the layers of fears.

I have been counseling or coaching for over 40 years. I have researched and employed many useful techniques. I even developed a proprietary process to help people identify the subconscious beliefs that hold them back, as well as a transformative system to empower them.

I am obsessed with helping people live the life for which they were designed, and thus,

I am always on the look out for better, faster, and more effective tools and techniques. With new technologies arising all the time, believe me, there is no want for them.

However, I have never seen ones as effective as what I have been describing. If self doubt is an emotional issue, and it thwarts who you really are, what you deeply desire in life, even your destiny, well... let’s deal with the emotions, shall we?

Let’s put an end to all the striving, struggle, and stress, and get on with the business of BEING your perfect, powerful, limitless, and free self.

When you are freed of self-doubt, you will be amazed and what will open up to you.

One person described it as sparklers going off in her heart! Another felt an electrical charge, an activation if you will, that triggered the truth of her perfection and power, something she already knew, but now she could actually feel it.

Other spontaneous utterances were-

"I feel so light, as if I have nothing to worry about!"

"Can it be this easy?"

"OMG, I am seeing the world in a whole new way! Possibilities are just opening up to me without any critical judgments to shut them down!"

Friends, I am so, so excited to do this work. Freeing people to be their highest version of themselves so they can live a life of magic and miracles is my calling.

If this interests you, I would love to talk with you. Please reach out, and let’s see if your time is now. Life will never look the same. I promise.

To Your Exquisite Freedom,

Maryann

Is This Lie Thwarting Your Dreams?

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 13:58:00 GMT

In today’s coaching session with one of my clients, we tackled what I have seen to be a very common issue…. In fact, I think it’s pandemic, far worse than C19.

It’s the invasive, show stopper… the subconscious, hidden belief that you are LESS THAN.

When I first started working with this client, he had already accomplished more than most people do -ever. But he had big dreams and a mission to make a huge difference in the medical field. He’s an iconic innovator and wanted to be famous in his field.

Now, it takes a special person who wants to be “famous in their field,” and even more special if they don’t have a ton of ego motivating them.

But he did. Lots of ego.

Now, in reality, ego can serve a good purpose, especially if you are younger, but after a while, it just slows you down, makes you stuck, and triggers all kinds of negative emotions when people don’t recognize you, support you, or even worse, thwart you.

My client was a strong man of faith, who has worked very hard on himself professionally and personally, so it was a surprise for him to see this Egoic Less Than thing. However, he was a person who did not want any old stuff clinging to him because he knew you can’t rise to where God wants you to go if you are tethered by the weight of lies.

Now the thing is, most of us have a Less Than Story . And sometimes it’s easier to play the victim and keep repeating the story… how you were hurt, wounded, held back, etc. .. than to actually challenge it.

But here is why we all should:

· The Less Than Mentality renders us powerless.

· It motivates us to prove we are somebodies, when we already are more than somebodies… we are SUPER HEROES !

· It causes us to compare, judge, and be jealous.

· It motivates us to work way too hard and never feel accomplished or satisfied, at least not for long.

The Less Than Mentality drains our energy, saps our time, and stresses us out.

A guess what… . It’s just a big fat lie.

Since my client and I have identified this lie, how pervasive it is, and how it has held him back, distracted and disempowered him… and then, discovered his true, God-given greatness and destiny… the doors of favor and opportunity have flung wide open for him . His desire to be a famous influencer is no longer motivated by fear, but love. He is aligned with God and his energy is completely different.

He has gone from obscurity, striving and hustling, to loving his life, getting published and writing a book with a well known partner, being asked to be a regular for ABC News, and even more, finding the woman of his dreams.

He’s so much more focused, and when he does get triggered, he recognizes the problem, and has the skills and wisdom to know what to do with it.

And what’s even more fun is… we have identified his Superhero name! (Sorry, if I told ya, I’d have to kill ya.)

The Less Than Lie is a common thief… and so, if it operating in your life, it is messing with what is possible for you.

Listen to me: You are a SUPER HERO, and no matter where you on this journey called life, it is time to come out of hiding!

Let me know if I can help…

Love,

Maryann

Your Possibility Partner, helping you keep your heart wide open and your head on straight!

The Queen's Way Works

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 15:44:00 GMT

A Queen does not have to sacrifice money for meaning!

Summary: This video explores the transformative power of adopting the Queen's way of life and business mindset. Through the story of a woman who overcame job loss and depression by embracing this approach, it highlights the importance of standing firm in one's values, making decisions based on meaning rather than money, and manifesting abundance. The Queen's way encourages self-worth, resilience, and purposeful living, leading to fulfilling success.

In today's fast-paced and often challenging world, adopting a mindset that empowers and uplifts can make all the difference. The concept of "The Queen's Way" to life and business offers such a transformative approach. It encourages individuals to think, act, and live like a queen, embracing self-worth, standing firm in their values, and manifesting abundance.

This article delves into the story of a woman who, after facing significant hardships including job loss during the pandemic, found renewed strength and success by adopting the Queen's way. Her journey illustrates how beautiful things can happen when you align your soul and heart with this empowering mindset.

Understanding the Queen's Way

The Queen's way is more than just a metaphor; it is a comprehensive approach to life and business that encompasses:

- Attitudes and Approach: How you think about situations and what you are willing to accept or reject.

- Honoring Your Heart's Desires: Prioritizing what truly matters to you.

- Manifesting Power: Becoming a force that attracts abundance and success.

- Using Your Gifts: Opening your mind, heart, skills, and talents to fulfill your royal existence.

Living the Queen's way means making decisions based on meaning and values rather than solely on financial gain. It is about standing your ground and knowing your worth.

The Story of Transformation

The Challenge

The woman in this story had been following the Queen's way live streams and teachings for some time. However, the pandemic brought unforeseen challenges. She was laid off from her upper management position, a role she had worked hard to achieve. The process of securing unemployment benefits and finding a new job was painful and fraught with obstacles.

During this period, she experienced depression, feelings of worthlessness, and a sense of being unwanted. Despite her qualifications and experience, she struggled to find a position that matched her previous status.

The Turning Point

After months of hardship, she began to truly embrace the Queen's way. She started to see herself as a queen—someone who deserves respect, abundance, and fulfillment. This shift in mindset empowered her to stand her ground during her job search.

She shared her experience:

"I was finally able to start looking for and concentrate on my job search when I saw your Queen live stream. While watching it, it made me think I deserve this. I stood my ground and received a lot of declines because of my salary, but I managed to land a job. I turned down two offers also thanks to listening to you."

Making Decisions Based on Meaning

Interestingly, she chose to decline higher-paying job offers. Her previous experiences taught her that decisions based solely on money led to dissatisfaction and quitting. Instead, she prioritized meaning and alignment with her values.

She explained:

"I learned from my previous experience that whenever I let money do the decision, I hated it and quit as soon as possible."

This is a key lesson of the Queen's way: a queen makes decisions based on what her heart tells her, what aligns with her life and those she cares for.

The Outcome

She accepted a position with a renowned research company specializing in cancer genetic testing, particularly breast cancer. Although initially the salary was lower, the pay structure eventually resulted in her earning more than before.

This outcome highlights that choosing meaning over immediate financial gain can lead to greater abundance and fulfillment in the long run.

Lessons from the Queen's Way

Stand Your Ground Even in Difficult Times

Even when facing unemployment or uncertainty, thinking like a queen means maintaining your standards and self-worth. It means not settling for less than you deserve.

Make Decisions Based on Heart and Meaning

Financial considerations are important, but they should not be the sole factor. Aligning your choices with your values and passions leads to greater satisfaction and success.

Manifest Abundance Through Mindset

Adopting the Queen's way opens you up to manifesting power. It helps you attract opportunities and prosperity that resonate with your true self.

Seek Support When Needed

Sometimes, internal blocks or limiting beliefs can hold you back. Seeking guidance, such as booking a breakthrough session, can help you overcome these obstacles and thrive.

Conclusion

The Queen's way to life and business is a powerful framework for anyone seeking to live with purpose, dignity, and abundance. The story of this woman demonstrates that even in the face of adversity, adopting this mindset can lead to beautiful transformations.

If you find yourself struggling with decisions, feeling powerless, or unsure of your path, consider embracing the Queen's way. Stand firm in your worth, make choices from your heart, and open yourself to the abundance you deserve.

Remember, beautiful things happen when you live and think like a queen.

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