The Cure for Self Doubt
- By Maryann Ehmann
- •
- 20 Mar, 2023
- •
So the downloads continue.., clarity is abounding... my purpose is the same but with greater intensity... for those interested, here is my latest email post. Yes, it's long, but filled with valuable nuggets!
The cure for self doubt
Today I want to share about a deep-seated problem for many dream-driven leaders, and unfortunately, many Christian teachings reinforce this problem… and that is the universal core anxiety with which most people struggle… self-doubt.
But first let me give you some context.
I believe our main purpose in life, the reason we are here, is to discover (remember?) and be the fullest expression of who we really are... let's call her our Truest Self.
And because our Truest Self is inextricably infused and one with God, she is perfect, powerful, limitless, and free. Living from that place, we have access at all times to Infinite Wisdom, Everlasting Love, and Magic and Miracles.
The cure for self doubt
Today I want to share about a deep-seated problem for many dream-driven leaders, and unfortunately, many Christian teachings reinforce this problem… and that is the universal core anxiety with which most people struggle… self-doubt.
But first let me give you some context.
I believe our main purpose in life, the reason we are here, is to discover (remember?) and be the fullest expression of who we really are... let's call her our Truest Self.
And because our Truest Self is inextricably infused and one with God, she is perfect, powerful, limitless, and free. Living from that place, we have access at all times to Infinite Wisdom, Everlasting Love, and Magic and Miracles.
Unfettered, a life of abundance, that which Jesus came to give us, flows freely... and when it flows freely, all people around us benefit. It's a win for God, a win for you, and a win for all.
But there is something that can get in the way of us living this life, and even accessing the power and perfection within. You know it all too well.
So do I.
The limiting beliefs of our smaller, egoic self, and the negative, often painful, emotions they cause. (Please note: this post is not addressing the childhood (or adult) trauma we may have suffered from which we need healing. I will address that in another post.)
While there are many limiting beliefs and negative emotions, the one that is most prevalent, and the subject of today's post is SELF-DOUBT.
The interesting thing about self-doubt is that it begs the question... which self? If it is our Truest Self, well, there is no doubt in her. She is a place of certainty, knowing, and just is.
So, it must be our ego self that puts this out there, and even though it is not as real as our truest self, it must be attended to. I hope you are still with me! 🙂
In this post, I will be sharing what self-doubt is, how it affects us, and what the cure is. (Yeah, bold promise, I know, but I wouldn't make such if I had not experienced this personally and in my clients!)
Now, just so we are on the same page, doubt of any kind is the existence of two or more thoughts about the same thing… in this case… your value and worth.
But there is something that can get in the way of us living this life, and even accessing the power and perfection within. You know it all too well.
So do I.
The limiting beliefs of our smaller, egoic self, and the negative, often painful, emotions they cause. (Please note: this post is not addressing the childhood (or adult) trauma we may have suffered from which we need healing. I will address that in another post.)
While there are many limiting beliefs and negative emotions, the one that is most prevalent, and the subject of today's post is SELF-DOUBT.
The interesting thing about self-doubt is that it begs the question... which self? If it is our Truest Self, well, there is no doubt in her. She is a place of certainty, knowing, and just is.
So, it must be our ego self that puts this out there, and even though it is not as real as our truest self, it must be attended to. I hope you are still with me! 🙂
In this post, I will be sharing what self-doubt is, how it affects us, and what the cure is. (Yeah, bold promise, I know, but I wouldn't make such if I had not experienced this personally and in my clients!)
Now, just so we are on the same page, doubt of any kind is the existence of two or more thoughts about the same thing… in this case… your value and worth.
Doubt is double mindedness.
This double-mindedness produces an internal conflict which is why you may feel restless, unsettled, and stressed. In the bible doubt is likened to a ship adrift at sea, being tossed to and fro.
So, on one hand, there is something in you that knows, really knows, that you are a person of innate worth and value, without regard to how well you perform. You know that all of God’s creation is magnificent, intricate, and perfect, and of all creation, you are His crowning achievement.
At some level, you know you are perfect, powerful, limitless, and free! (And if you don’t that may be part of the problem!?)
On the other hand, disempowering limiting beliefs have gathered within, and even cemented over many years. Limiting beliefs have a voice, and usually it is a scornful, mocking one that says, "Really? You think you're all that?"
Then the voice will remind you of all the times you failed, had expectations that didn’t get fulfilled, and disappointed yourself and others. And while these are thoughts in your head, you feel the pain in your heart.
I can’t tell you how many times successful leaders, with tons of accomplishments and years of dedicated personal growth, have confided in me, with tearful shame… "I feel like a loser… " and then set out to justify why they think so. Their brains can come up with a solid case as to why they think that is true, but on the other hand, they really do know better.
But knowing better just creates more havoc within. Added to the self-doubt is guilt and shame over knowing better. Do you feel me?
Now, even though doubt is double-mindedness, the cure is not in our minds. Changing our minds, creating new neural pathways, etc, can be done, but it often takes quite a long time.
The cure is also not in repeating affirmations and mantras all day long. It’s not in daily meditations. It’s not in … just believe in yourself! Look at all you’ve accomplished?
No, my friend, your mindset is not the cure. As a "mindset expert," my experience has shown me, mindset is not enough.
Yes, you heard me say that. Mindset is not enough to cure self-doubt.
So, what is? Can we really cure this pervasive and debilitating problem?
Yes. Yes. Yes! And faster and easier than you think!
You see, self-doubt is an emotional issue, not a mindset one. Yes, your thoughts and beliefs produce chemical reactions that show up as feelings and emotions… so then, just change your thoughts…. Right? Wrong.
It’s not your thoughts that are holding you back, it’s your negative emotions. It’s the energy emitted from negative emotions that are more powerful than your thoughts.
Emotions trump thoughts!
The good news is… once you go through a guided, genuine letting go process, your thoughts will automatically shift! You won’t be plagued with the "loser," victim, or scarcity mentality anymore! You will be free to let your Truest Self emerge so she can go on to achieve her purpose and live the life she is here to live.
Well, how do you do that?!
So, on one hand, there is something in you that knows, really knows, that you are a person of innate worth and value, without regard to how well you perform. You know that all of God’s creation is magnificent, intricate, and perfect, and of all creation, you are His crowning achievement.
At some level, you know you are perfect, powerful, limitless, and free! (And if you don’t that may be part of the problem!?)
On the other hand, disempowering limiting beliefs have gathered within, and even cemented over many years. Limiting beliefs have a voice, and usually it is a scornful, mocking one that says, "Really? You think you're all that?"
Then the voice will remind you of all the times you failed, had expectations that didn’t get fulfilled, and disappointed yourself and others. And while these are thoughts in your head, you feel the pain in your heart.
I can’t tell you how many times successful leaders, with tons of accomplishments and years of dedicated personal growth, have confided in me, with tearful shame… "I feel like a loser… " and then set out to justify why they think so. Their brains can come up with a solid case as to why they think that is true, but on the other hand, they really do know better.
But knowing better just creates more havoc within. Added to the self-doubt is guilt and shame over knowing better. Do you feel me?
Now, even though doubt is double-mindedness, the cure is not in our minds. Changing our minds, creating new neural pathways, etc, can be done, but it often takes quite a long time.
The cure is also not in repeating affirmations and mantras all day long. It’s not in daily meditations. It’s not in … just believe in yourself! Look at all you’ve accomplished?
No, my friend, your mindset is not the cure. As a "mindset expert," my experience has shown me, mindset is not enough.
Yes, you heard me say that. Mindset is not enough to cure self-doubt.
So, what is? Can we really cure this pervasive and debilitating problem?
Yes. Yes. Yes! And faster and easier than you think!
You see, self-doubt is an emotional issue, not a mindset one. Yes, your thoughts and beliefs produce chemical reactions that show up as feelings and emotions… so then, just change your thoughts…. Right? Wrong.
It’s not your thoughts that are holding you back, it’s your negative emotions. It’s the energy emitted from negative emotions that are more powerful than your thoughts.
Emotions trump thoughts!
The good news is… once you go through a guided, genuine letting go process, your thoughts will automatically shift! You won’t be plagued with the "loser," victim, or scarcity mentality anymore! You will be free to let your Truest Self emerge so she can go on to achieve her purpose and live the life she is here to live.
Well, how do you do that?!
Step 1: Awareness.
Most of us want to avoid negative emotions. They don’t feel good. And in the great move of PMA, Positive Mental Attitude, we were taught to stay positive. So to deal with the negative emotions, like self-doubt, discouragement, frustration, and futility, we distract ourselves, we sweep them under the rug, we engage in relentless busy work, we shame ourselves for having them, or we cover them up with pretty Pollyanna Platitudes.
In the process of avoiding, we become disconnected from our feelings. You might not even be aware of what you are feeling. That is why the first step is awareness. You may need some help identifying your feelings, but trust me, when you learn how, without condemnation, it will become very easy.
In the process of avoiding, we become disconnected from our feelings. You might not even be aware of what you are feeling. That is why the first step is awareness. You may need some help identifying your feelings, but trust me, when you learn how, without condemnation, it will become very easy.
Step 2: Welcome your negative emotions.
Being aware is one thing, welcoming them is another. Again, this can be a difficult thing for people as they are used to batting negativity away. Welcoming them seems counter-productive. For others, they are well aware, and wallowing in the negative is where they stay. Wallowing in not the same as welcoming. If we work together, we can help you discern the difference, as it is an essential one.
Step 3: Choose to let the negative emotions go.
This is actually the hardest of the 3 steps, and often requires some deep support. Letting go has been a popular subject of many books and programs. I even did a skydiving retreat to create a tangible experience of letting go.
However, I have found that letting go often faces hard core resistance. One client said, "I’m not sure I can." Through the process, she became aware that she was heavily invested in being the victim of her thoughts and feelings.
Another said, "I’m a bit nervous about what life will look like without them." This woman was a very evolved searcher of the truth. It was surprising to her to see this fear emerge. Fortunately for her, she was committed to the work, being set free, and peeling away the layers of fears.
I have been counseling or coaching for over 40 years. I have researched and employed many useful techniques. I even developed a proprietary process to help people identify the subconscious beliefs that hold them back, as well as a transformative system to empower them.
I am obsessed with helping people live the life for which they were designed, and thus,
I am always on the look out for better, faster, and more effective tools and techniques. With new technologies arising all the time, believe me, there is no want for them.
However, I have never seen ones as effective as what I have been describing. If self doubt is an emotional issue, and it thwarts who you really are, what you deeply desire in life, even your destiny, well... let’s deal with the emotions, shall we?
Let’s put an end to all the striving, struggle, and stress, and get on with the business of BEING your perfect, powerful, limitless, and free self.
When you are freed of self-doubt, you will be amazed and what will open up to you.
One person described it as sparklers going off in her heart! Another felt an electrical charge, an activation if you will, that triggered the truth of her perfection and power, something she already knew, but now she could actually feel it.
Other spontaneous utterances were-
"I feel so light, as if I have nothing to worry about!"
"Can it be this easy?"
"OMG, I am seeing the world in a whole new way! Possibilities are just opening up to me without any critical judgments to shut them down!"
Friends, I am so, so excited to do this work. Freeing people to be their highest version of themselves so they can live a life of magic and miracles is my calling.
If this interests you, I would love to talk with you. Please reach out, and let’s see if your time is now. Life will never look the same. I promise.
To Your Exquisite Freedom,
Maryann
In today’s coaching session with one of my clients, we tackled what I have seen to be a very common issue…. In fact, I think it’s pandemic, far worse than C19.
It’s the invasive, show stopper… the subconscious, hidden belief that you are LESS THAN.
When I first started working with this client, he had already accomplished more than most people do - ever . But he had big dreams and a mission to make a huge difference in the medical field. He’s an iconic innovator and wanted to be famous in his field.
Now, it takes a special person who wants to be “famous in their field,” and even more special if they don’t have a ton of ego motivating them.
But he did. Lots of ego.
Now, in reality, ego can serve a good purpose, especially if you are younger, but after a while, it just slows you down, makes you stuck, and triggers all kinds of negative emotions when people don’t recognize you, support you, or even worse, thwart you.
My client was a strong man of faith, who has worked very hard on himself professionally and personally, so it was a surprise for him to see this Egoic Less Than thing. However, he was a person who did not want any old stuff clinging to him because he knew you can’t rise to where God wants you to go if you are tethered by the weight of lies.
Now the thing is, most of us have a Less Than Story . And sometimes it’s easier to play the victim and keep repeating the story… how you were hurt, wounded, held back, etc. .. than to actually challenge it.
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