My Tribute to My Sister

You may or may not heard, but my sister passed away suddenly from a severe case of Covid-19. I wrote this tribute to her, about her, and posted in on FB, Resurrection Sunday, which if you are interested is written below.

Besides being stunned, I was angry. Her death made no sense to me. Further I was not told she was even sick until 2 hours before she died… no time to have one more conversation. I had to let that go, or it was going to eat me up.

But here It is, more than 30 days later, and I feel so much peace. The tribute will, in part, explain why.

I also wanted to share with you that other family members who were around her, and even experienced symptoms of Covid, either did not get it at all, or they basically breezed through it, if they did. I think this is very good news, and in an email to you talking about my sis and her death, I
think you need to know this, as well.

So, whether you knew her or not, I would be greatly honored if you read my tribute to my sister and join me in the celebration of her life. She meant so much to me.

Thank you and much love to you, Maryann

My beautiful, fun, and vivacious sister, Carla Spaccasi Larson, left this earth and transitioned into her gorgeous, new, clutter-free, (she knows what I mean) spacious heavenly mansion April 1, 2020. Covid-19 was the cause. Argh.

I haven't been able to post a tribute to her as her passing was so shocking, sudden, and surreal. Trying to make any sense of this has been almost impossible. On April 1, I learned she was sick around 5:30 pm PDT and she was gone around 7:30.

Nothing I say here will capture how I feel or what she meant to me, but it's time for me to try. It is Easter, and there doesn't seem to be a better day.

Carla and I were only 18 months apart. She was the 3rd born of 6 of us, my shadow, and constant companion. Wherever I went, she went. In fact, we often sang that song, "Me and My Shadow" or "Sisters, Sisters, There were never more devoted sisters..."

My mom dressed us alike and people often said we were like 2 peas in a pod. In the picture to the right, she is at the piano, and I am standing behind. She was almost 7 and I was 8.

I loved my sister and we had so much fun together, making stuff up, laughing, creating, singing, and just acting like goofs.

Despite the look alike clothes though, we couldn't have been more different. She was super smart, knew every word to every song (and would correct you vehemently if you got it wrong) and sang it beautifully, as well. I struggled in school and was often accused of killing a cat when I sang, but never by her. She was always kind to me.

Carla was cautious and tested everything before she tried it, whereas I tended to run head first into things and just play it by ear. We were a good balance to each other.

I loved that Carla excelled in whatever she did, no matter where she went. I admired her. Beginning in a workstudy program at UCI, she eventually moved through the ranks to become Director of Admissions at UCI, Graduate School of Management. She would often travel all around the country, and even world, promoting UCI, and often she would call me and say.... Meet me in NYC, Boston, or wherever.

Carla and I lived together often... while I was in law school, when I transferred from Hartford to Newport Beach, and when I met my hubby. She was there when I inherited Gene's kids and she treated them like our own flesh and blood. Many weekends she and Bjorn took Rachel
Ehmann overnight with frequent excursions to Disneyland. She was an amazing auntie.

When they adopted their darling Heidi, I helped guide her through the highly emotional process. So many touch points.

We used to argue incessantly about God. Going from an atheist to a Christian, I was adamant and often we would end up with cross words. Not something I'm proud of. But Carla and I couldn't stay angry long. We loved each other too much, and understood each others' passions, even if we didn't always agree. Ultimately, God became as important to Carla as to me, and it was more thing we could share.

Carla was really hot and had this buttery voice like Linda Ronstadt. I used to love gathering my friends and going to the local dive joint and listen to her belt it out with the band. Eventually she used those talents to give glory to God at her church, or putting conferences together, or
assisting at Hochstein School of Music.

Carla was a dedicated and amazing mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter, co-worker, and neighbor. She was passionate about the underdog, whether it was an animal, the environment, or person, and would go to great lengths to help out. Everyone who knew her loved her and could
rely on her.

I have no idea how much I will miss my sister. I believe up until today, I am only scratching the tip of the surface. But as time goes on, I will relish our memories together, and delight in the things that made us laugh... "Nostros Pinos and You No Struggle..." Carla knows what I mean, and she's probably busting a gut right now.

This horrible virus took my sister out. When I started the day, I had no idea what was in store. It's made me think even more deeply about how I want to live my life moving forward. She and I played a lot of phone tag the months before she passed. We are two busy ladies. I am grateful for a lifetime of experiences with her, but I do wish I had not taken for granted the time we had left together.

One more thing I need to share, though, is... the night she passed, God blessed me with this incredible dream... a dream that would bring me great reassurance and comfort.

All my siblings, spouses, and I were in a 1970's style cabin, complete with harvest gold, burnt orange, and olive green furniture. If you were a child during the 70's, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, we all decided to bring Carla's body from the hospital and prop it up on the couch amongst us. As we talked, partied, and celebrated her life, I saw her eyes flutter. With a shriek I called everyone's attention to her to see if there would be more... there was! Soon she opened her eyes fully, smiled, and sat up. She was alive! The longer she was alive, the younger she became. Eventually she stood up and just carried on in our midst.

Now, don't get into a theological debate with me, but I knew from this dream, that God was showing me that the line between the spiritual realm and this earthly realm has become very thin. I know to look forward to more good times with her, that I can expect to feel her presence, and just enjoy her company. My heart swells every time I think of that dream.

See you, my sis... I love you so.